suicide is the bravest thing a person can do
last night, i googled some theories —
none of which confirmed my suspicion
that k*lling yourself requires more than intolerable pain,
but also a personal quality.
it takes a very large pair of balls
to stick a loaded needle into your veins,
blow out your brain,
dive from 35 stories high.
let’s applaud those who have performed such acts!
so many people in this world want to die,
but not everyone follows through —
suicide is the bravest thing a person can do.
what a glorious way of declaring
that death should not be feared
when living is what’s truly terrifying.
there’s mirrors and assholes and numbers on a screen,
ballots that amount to nothing and choirs too tired to sing,
hiding from the sun and cursing when it storms,
always walking when the light turns green
and still losing everything.
last night, i tried to locate the origin of the term “kms.”
on december 9th 2007, a user of the name ghjkdgdkfj
made a post on urban dictionary.
i wondered what happened to them
once i noticed they haven’t posted anything since then.
when one succeeds at kms-ing,
coroners are trained to provide an off-the-record autopsy:
lack of love was not the causality.
therapists are trained to extinguish the wildfires of the survivors’ sense of morality:
there’s a difference between feeling loved and being loved,
which is another way of saying certain bodies don’t feel properly.
fuck a devised deficiency!
how can we live with ridding ourselves of responsibility?
let’s make change the sixth stage of grief:
when someone you love wants to die
and you start to think there’s no more use in trying —
because the system is shitty and you’re really fucking tired —
take a nap, go for a walk, feel the warmth of the sun on your skin.
think of how its light is essential to your life,
how it feeds your body exactly what it craves.
when someone you love wants to die,
remember there’s a difference between the love one needs
and the love they receive —
may this teach us what to fight for and how to be.